Posts
 |
| Photo courtesy: Kellie Elmore blog. Click here for more. |
Sometimes i get this insane craving to cut loose
from who i am now and let my spirit fly high. For the moment all that my wild
heart is rambling and craving wants to sit underneath the shower, hold my knees
and cry until my eyes bleed out! I want to get drunk and escape to the world
that i know only exists sometimes in the figment of my imagination. I want to
break free. At home i feel under scrutiny all the time. Well, i know this i
terrible but if i was not sent to hostel, i might have been a more homely and a
more co-operative child. But, they chose to send me always and sometimes with
so much rage building in me, i end up screaming thundering the whole house with
the agony i feel inside of me! Its not that i am unhappy they chose to send me
to Hostel, i am glad they did. Because to an extent i know i survived the most
difficult phase of my life (high school) trying to adjust and make friends. I
have a few of them with whom i still talk and ramble random stuffs of life.
Sometimes we used to meet up under this one tree at Delhi School of Economics
and smoke a joint ... stare vacantly at the endless grey building in front of
us before we realized it was nightfall and time to go to bed! I would not have
had that experience had i stayed home!
But now that i have come home after a decade long
stay-away, home does not feel like home! it feels different, it feels random
and unjust. It feels concrete and cold and sometimes Oh! so very very cold.
Things don't go my way so i have stopped expecting them to too. I am getting
used to the fact that because things do not go my way i have become used to the
rampant threat that life brings now and then racing my heart more than ever!
Things around me look random like they all are out of place, at one time and at
the other everything seems normal and perfect and beautiful and it feels like
it is just me who's not in shape to work out things around herself, who is that
only one out of sync with the nature.
2 comments:
i sometimes feel this way too. looks like we have a few things in common than the sleepless nights and broken hearts. ;) maybe if i ever visit your country i'll buzz you so we can have a joint and maybe get drunk! (assuming you still do) :)
Oh! Yeah! I still do, but I try and keep it low these days. Come and we shall both ramble in depth about the misery we face as we soak more and more in Whiskey and Rum! :) Such a wonderful comment you have in here. Makes my day! Thank you!
Post a Comment