A handful Nepali Cultures: impracticality at use

Every society has their share of traditions and practices. If individualism defines the mainstream American life style, rich food constitutes a major part of Indian culture. In the same manner Nepalese have their own share of cultural practise and traditions ranging from the celebration of mainstream Nepali festival Dashain to illogical practise of menstrual untouchability. 

photo courtesy: Demotix.com 
A Nepali Women who when menstruates is sent to this small mud hut to live for four days after which she
needs to purify herself. Then only she can enter the household. Menstruation is seen more in term of
Untouchability than a natural physical cycle in the remote areas of Nepal. 

Life in home is hard especially when you are not used to it- used to anything that constitutes a home (as according to societal notion) from clean rooms and no hanging socks to cleaning and cooking and spending time with parents. Certain things which i used to take as privileged  freedom-taken-for-granted is all coming back to me kicking me hard in the gut making life harder than it could ever be. Everything sucks - from waking up in the morning to sleeping in the night (which seldom happens). 

My mom comes in the morning with bland announcement that i have to clean myself up today. I don't get it or putting it in a little more mild manner, i must have forgotten the "Traditions" Nepali society holds - not trying to be a rebel or anything but when you don't follow a ritual for so long, it becomes "bygone begone" sorts. I look at her- simple, blank look. She mentions with a little anger to her tone that it is the fourth day of my menstrual cycle and that i have to clean myself up, change my bed sheets and the night dress i wore. And i plainly ask "What about other clothes i wore the whole four days while going to office? or while sleeping? should i not laundry them?" She must have thought i was teasing her sentiments and she cried off with how insensible i am despite the fact i have an extremely supporting family and how i will regret if i get married to a more stringent 'Bahun' Kathmandu family. 

the question poised by me was not a tease, it was an honest question. If the clothes i wear on the fourth day needs washing just because it is the fourth day of my periods, what about the other three days? Was i not menstruating then? 

logically and historically speaking i think the whole idea of washing clothes on the fourth day comes from the fact that a woman during her menstruation bleeds for four days (least) and then some completely stop while some don't. We did not have sanitary napkins and "Why should boys have all the fun?" related things to make woman's lives easier then. Women then were confined to a cow shed or a room (not a concrete room) for four days because bleeding and staining the whole house would have increased the amount of work a women naturally is expected to do. This is the logic behind sending a woman to a shed (because then, people hardly had a concrete house, having two would have been nearly impossible). 

Slowly as times passed by, the practical and sensible side of a custom disappeared leaving the impractical and senseless side for people to COMPREHEND as they wished. This led to increase of a dehumanizing attitude of anyway patriarchal society resulting in the lower status of women than men burdening her with tag of being 'impure'. What adds on to the in-humanness of these men towards women is when learned men comment on women's well being with statements like "I don't believe a person who can bleed for five days straight and still be alive." Hawking once mentioned, "I deciphered what i had to but could never apply that to a women. They are a species on their own." Statements like this is if spelled by learned men, what can we expect of uneducated men in the remote areas of Nepali villages who are just following what their father did. Who is to blame? 

Some traditions are worth a keep. Some aren't. One needs to focus and analyze how much of a tradition do we actually have in a tradition and how much has been sensitized in order to make people feel their cohesive power in a society. 

FWF: and there she stood waiting ...

only if we had a bridge in our lives to mend the lag ...

There she stood on the other edge of her world waiting and hoping. 

The times that were spent, the kisses that were kissed leaves her body tingling.

She's waiting for him; She's waiting to get connected to the other side.

She has his picture glued to her heart and nothing on her mind.

 

The sudden lag in the bridge is much too much to overpass.

The more she waits, the more she hopes, the more it tends to impasse.

Clutching her soul from within and leaving behind her ousted heart,

She slowly turns away from the wait even though it tears her apart. 

 

She reminisces what happened and what could have happened;

The more she ponders, the more her soul gets dampened. 

The bereaved soul can only go so far; Time is of the essence.

She can only hope her wait is worth the coalescence. 

This is my first post in FWF. Please bear with me, if this is not the way to write. I will be writing in more. Visit http://kellieelmore.com/free-write-friday/ for more information, if you are interested.
Cheers!

Stop intellectual masturbation India: time to take action!

"Somewhere the fear of justice, of the system, of our morals and our upbringing has given rise to a freedom that perpetrates such crimes !! An intolerance has set in ! And unless we move fast and sure footedly to rectify this, there can be no correction. Let every Indian become a vigilante, a soldier, a commander that shall fight such heinous crimes with strength and conviction ." -Amitabh Bacchan

I woke up to the saddest news ever. Yet another Rape story. This is disturbing.A woman was raped in a moving bus at New Delhi, India. India, known as the biggest democracy in the world is also one of the worst. I stayed in India for more than half a decade and not a day went by when i was not eve teased. If this time Delhi sleeps, i am afraid, it will never wake up again. There will a complete silence only to be enveloped by the loud thud of failing laws. Shame on You, Delhi and Delhites! What Pride do you carry in roaming around in super bikes and car and wearing Gucci and Armani when you have lost every ounce of humanity …. if this time you all don’t stand up, things will never be the same for Women. If I was there I would and I have stood up in the past!

We, since kids are asked not to question the patriarchal rules. We as a kid are punished if we even try to test the boundaries of those stringent patriarchal rules. We are taught to smile and not laugh, we are taught to sit cross legged and not wide open. Why? Because laughing and sitting with legs open is inviting! That’s what we were taught. We were chained. Our souls were chained. The rapist needs to be castrated for shoving a rod up the girl’s vagina leaving her unconscious. He needs to feel the pain. Death sentence is an easy option. Even before you realize, you are dead, you have had already stop breathing.

The question is not about Capital punishment or No Capital punishment…. The issue is greater than that. Its about the ideology & a state of mind. Men in our societies are not condemned for treating women inappropriately – from passing sleazy comments on the road, to beating their wives, female feticide, honor killings to rape! These maybe hideous crimes but for most of Indians it is an act of permissible behavior. In India, the society doesn’t question the Bastards who raped the woman, but Questions the girl as to why she was out in the night. It is she who has to explain herself for being a victim and inviting her misfortune. India needs to change from within their structure. Even to reach normal standards of civility….. And for monsters like that, castration should become the stepping stone of trial procedures!

Here is an excerpt from one of the media spokesperson from NDTV. This is the Story as told by the media. This is what the melting pot of culture capital is. This is not the first time, or the second. This has been happening and will continue to happen for ages to come if the government of India does not take right action at the right time.

“The bus driver Ram Singh went out with his 6 friends. They were all Biharis (People from the State of Bihar in India). The girl and the guy were called by the driver and were given proper tickets ( the bus was a school bus with black curtains .. Not permitted for transport use ) The girl was 23 a very good student and wanted to reach Dwarka Mord.
After they got in , the guys (The Driver and his Friends) hit a rod on the guys’s head and threw him out , then raped the girl one by one in the bus which was moving continuously in the posh areas of New Delhi (The Capital of India) and NCR.
After raping her time and again, one of them inserted a very long rod in her vagina which almost killed her and threw her out and ran away.
She was lying in the middle of the rod hurt and nude.. Not even single person helped her or covered her for an hour.When police came in no one helped them pick her up. They were just not interested at all.
The girl’s vagina + small and large intestine is totally damaged and she cannot live a married or normal life. Doctor said ” main bayan nahi kar sakta ki ussne kya kya zheela hai … Bolte hue muzhe dard hota hai “. Translation: “I cannot even go about mentioning what she has been though … Just to talk about it, i feel her pain!” Doctor!
She has gone in coma for the 5th times from 16th dec. She is unconscious , critical and cannot stop crying. Her ribs are damaged as well.”

Her only fault was she got into a wrong bus …. Delhi wake up!